Feeling a lack of male elder energy in my life I’ve started this series of articles to start a conversation with the elders. In the hope that they are as ready to share as I am to listen and bless as I am ready to honour.
Firstly who are my elders? I believe that any man who is older than me and would father or grandfather me; teaching, sharing, blessing and honouring me is in my eyes an elder. However unlike my predecessors from that village in Punjab (North West India) where all the men would have been born in the same land, spoke the same mother tongue where I was born I want to acknowledge the rainbow of men; from different lands, who will have different birth languages, wearing different clothes, loving in diverse ways but still sons of the same mother.
Secondly, what do I want from these elders; whose paths will cross mine in this reality, online or by reference?–
Honoured elders, fathers and grandfathers,
I want you to share your stories and hear mine.
I want to hear about your successes and I want to learn from your failures.
I want to be proud of your humility and humbled by your dignity.
I want to learn of your youth and teach from my life.
I want to see you strong in adversity and tender in love.
I want to be sanctified by your tears and healed by your laughter.
I want to see my children open their arms at the sight of you and you to gather them in yours.
I want to see my love shine in your eyes and yours reflected in mine.
I want to know that you’ll give me space to grow and hold me if I wither.
I want to see you value your brothers and teach me to honour my adversaries
I want to know that you acknowledge regrets and show me how to admit shame.
I want to see you respect life and teach me to accept death.
And if all else fails
I want to know that you’ll hold me and listen to me.
The above is a list of wants which although I’ve penned I’m hoping aren’t specific to me and maybe one day I’ll be in a position where I can respond to them from an elder perspective.
Courtesy of Shaky Shergill